so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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