New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
