Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
