he told me I talked like a deaf person
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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