You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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