I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
