I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
