If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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