watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
