kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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