so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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