You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize