I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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