I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
