You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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