You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you guys were way drunker than both of me
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
