the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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