I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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