he wants to bone in the snuggie
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I can't put those talents on a resume
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
