I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
