Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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