i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
