I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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