Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
