Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
