Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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