She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
