You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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