ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i've created a new STD.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
