theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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