Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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