it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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