So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
