think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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