So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
