saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
