The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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