i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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