Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
