so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
