Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
