She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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