Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
