We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
