Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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