Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize