Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Brb crying the tears of my youth
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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