I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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