you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
