A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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