Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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