I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
