I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Fuck appropriateness.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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