Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
