i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
