We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
