Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
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