look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
