So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You're like the curious george of whores
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
