I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
