Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
