Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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