pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
