Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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