Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You're like the curious george of whores
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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