his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
