They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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